Taga-UP Diliman Ka Kung...

There is a new facebook group called "Taga UP Diliman ka kung..." (You are from the University of the Philippines, Diliman, if you...") that is so hot. It was created only about 10 days ago by an alumni Cleve JD Mallari and it attracted 32,100+ members. The posting are so frequent and witty.

I am reposting this here so that other friends and readers who are not from UPD and hence, are not members of the group and cannot read the postings, can see them. I created one thread in the group, below, copy-pasted the significant comments and additions. Smileys and hahaha are removed here as all of these comments are for fun or wittily true. Pictures here are all taken from the group by other group members. Here we go!
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A girl was caught by UPD police making love to the Oblation.
Q1: Was a crime committed? Yes, statutory rape.
Q2: Can she be convicted? Yes, there is concrete evidence.

Victoria: And you know a Nonoy Oplas joke when you see one.

Jopay: noy... very hard evidence yan ah!

Lorenzo: so... will oble be imprisoned? or the girl? :)

Jopay: Depende... mukhang may consent naman

Nonoy: Some Diliman dorm jokes:
Narra -- dorm ng surot na tinatao
Kamia -- female version ng Narra (mga female na surot?)
Sanggumay - dorm ng mga manang
Ipil - dorm ng mga manong
Ilang-Ilang - dorm ng mga nai-ilang sa academic oval
Kalayaan (boys wing) -- silipan ng mga boys sa girls wing ng Yakal dorm

Some AS/CSSP male CR graffiti:
- The population of the world depends on what you are holding now.
- Pag inabot (ng ihi) mo ito (marker about 1 1/2 foot from your pototoy), astig ka.

Sa Narra dati, may issue re cats with 1 eye removed, 1 or 2 sq. inch of skin peeled, under observations pala ng mga Vet-Med students, the cats were roaming around. Narra dorm council created a graffiti wall, "What to do with the cats?" Some comments in the wall:
* itapon sa Kamia residence hall
* What to do with the vet meds?
* pusang-ina oh!
* nga pusakal kayo.

Jopay: Teka, noy, paano kung na-injured si oble? Ano ang crime?

Nonoy: Pag na-injure si Oble, the crime is statutory injury.

Some dorm male CR graffiti:
Sa Molave: "Here I sit all broken hearted,
tried to shit but only farted."
Sa Narra: "Here I sit on my puwet,
my asshole opens up a bit
out comes something like velvet
No, its my brownish shit."

Meanings of TBA in UP:
Ordinary enrollment -- (teacher) To Be Announced
Martial Law days -- (Teacher & student leaders) To Be Arrested
Applicants sa mga frats -- To Be Arbored (at idaan sa hazing).

Some graffiti at the back of main library dati:
-- Aanhin pa ang damo, kung tulog na ang addict.
-- Ako ay may naaamoy, parang mabangong kahoy,
O damo, damo, pagkain ng kabayo.
-- Ako ay may syota, malaki ang dyoga
dyoga, dyoga, nakapanlalata.

Jopay: Noy, malicious mischief ang crime pag na-injure si oble! baka maitanong yan sa bar!

Nonoy: 2 bus lines plying UPD in early 80s. JD bus line and MMTC, air-con or double decker. Ang JD, lawanit lang dingding, so in case of emergency, pwede na tadyakan ang dingding. Sa MMTC double decker, madami takot sumakay sa itaas kasi walang drayber :-)

Pag tingin mo mababa score mo or babagsak ka sa exam, ganito ang palusot: "Don't let your academics get in the way of your education." Halata ano ha.

UP noon vs ngayon:
-- dati pag nagrar-rally, sa plackard lang. ngayon nasa ipad na
-- dati UP IKOT lang, ngayon may TOKI na
-- dati pasok lang walang ID, ngayon may signs na NO ID, NO ENTRY or WEAR ID AT ALL TIMES
-- dati unli rice lang sa Area 2 at walang Via Mare, ngayon coño na...
‎-- dati kasabay mo nag-aantay ng jeep sa Edsa/Q.Ave mga kapwa estudyante, ngayon hatid-sundo ng mga drivers nila.
-- dati mga freshmen na uhugin, ngayon mga de-kotse na, loaded pa
-- dati, madaming mga dugyutin, amoy pawis na klasmeyts na mababangis sumagot sa recitation, ngayon mapoporma at mayayamang klasmeyts na walang muang sa mundo
-- dati mura tuition, ngayon mahal na...

The administrator of this group, Cleve JD Mallari posted that they will disable posting from Sat 7am to Sun 11pm but people can still read the various threads. Riot ang mga response, like these:
- yes! makakapag pahinga mga mata ko!
- Makakasubo ng konti at makakajingle.
- An tagal !! ... May gamot ba kayo pang detox bago mag 11 pm ng Sunday?
- ayos, para di na umusok yung computer ko
- ayan pwede nako maligo!
- Para may family time naman! :)
- i see symptoms of withdrawal....
- we will come to realize na "there's life beyond UPD group/site pala"..
- Withdrawal yan. Patay ang mga addict.
- So if I start getting the shakes and shivers this weekend, I'll know the reason why.
- puede na ako mag groceries, mag car wash at matulog!
- That's enough time to check in na into a rehab center.
- Ok, kaunting break. Galit na asawa ko dahil mukha ko nasa computer na lang at naka ngiting mag-isa
- Pucha, yung pinatanggal ko na eyebags at inalagaan ng tatlong taon, nawala in three days...

Weena: may ID na, may Via Mare pa??!! homaygulay~!!!

Nonoy: Some dorm stories, from other threads in this group:
- Nasubukan mong ma-harana sa sampaguita...
- naririnig mo yung malakas na tilaok ng mga manok ni mrs cantuba sa sampa
- nakaramdam ka ng multo sa Sampa
- Sampa, Napagkamalan akong multo sa CR kc maputla ako, naka-nightgown, bagong kulot biuhok
- pag weekend, nagtitis ka ulamin ang lucky me pansit canton kasi sawa ka na sa aristocart at nagtitipid ka
- 730am ang class mo at going late ka na kaya suot mo ang pantulog mo pagpasok ng klase!
- tanghali na gumising. maaga ka pa sa class...

Rache: Noon walang kalaman-laman ang mga parking area especially sa AS park lot pero ngayon kulang na kulang na sa parking palaging puno kaya minsan nasa side streets na and it will cause traffic. Inside UP, traffic!!!

Nonoy: More dorm stories, about the (10pm curfew), from other threads in this group. Thanks for these stories, naalala ko dorm life ko in the 80s (Molave, Yakal, Narra):
- bibili kayo ng "bribe" na pagkain para kay manang guardya para di ma-record na curfew ka
- dahil sa curfew, mas pinipili mo na lang na matulog sa labas kaysa madagdagan violations mo sa dorm..
- Yakal, yung bomb threat doon e gawa gawa lang yata ng isang dormer na inabutan ng curfew at gusto pa ding makapasok ng dorm. Me media coverage pa ha!
- Narra, isang minuto lang tinatagal ng curfew. 10PM ang start pag 10:01 open na uli ang gate....

Kwento or alaskahan sa College of Engineering:
EE - eng na eng
CE - conting eng
ME - medyo eng
IE - indi eng

Florence; e yung GE? ;)

Nonoy: grabeng eng? hehe. Mga taga-EE nagpa-uso ng jokes na yon.

Florence: malamang sinabi nila "gagong eng'g"

Nonoy: Yon MetE (Metallurgical Eng'g), ano itatawag nila don, "metopak eng"?

Someone posted, "UPD ka kung magaling kang gumamit ng pythagorean theorem. 'The sum of 2 sides is alway greater than the hypotenuse.' Then showed a picture of a curve but paved walkway near Vinzons Hall, and an unpaved but straight pathway. Heto ilang comments:
- the shortest distance between two points is a straight line
- Noon yun! Ngayon "The shortest distance between two points depends on where you're going!"
- There is no such thing as a straight line. What you conceive as straight is just a line segment of a curve.
- depende yan sa weather..pag umuulan at maputik ang hypotenuse, dun ka sa longer distance dadaan(paved e)