Saturday, June 25, 2011

Pinoy Jokes, Part 4

Some good jokes from a friend from UP, Raoul Abreau.

"I just wanna be an angel, flying around you, risking all I have just to kiss you, even if it can cost my life." -- Lamok, nag-e-english, hehe

A man was throwing knives at his wife's picture, and all were missing target. Suddenly he received a call from his wife who asked him what he was doing. He replied, "Just missing you."

Guy 1: My wife is an angel.
Guy 2: You're lucky. Mine is still alive.

Husband: Hello, what are you doing, my darling?
Wife: I'm dying.
H: (jumping with joy) How can I live without you?
W: You idiot! I'm dying my hair!

5 words women use:
1. FINE -- when they want to end an argument, think they're right and want you to shut up.
2. 5 MINUTES -- if she's getting dressed, this means half an hour.
3. NOTHING -- the calm before the storm. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine.
4. GO AHEAD -- this is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
5. THAT'S OK -- means she wants to think long and hard before deciding when you will pay for your past mistakes.

--> Send this to men to warn them, and to women to give them a good laugh because they know it's true.

Great person, ikaw yan.
Great father, ikaw ulit yan.
Great looks, aba, sayo talaga yan.
Great husband, sayo pa rin yan.
Great taste, Sobra na, kape na yan eh.

Mga katotohanan:
Hindi lahat ng kinakalabit, gitara.
Hindi lahat ng binobomba, poso.
Hindi lahat ng pinapasukan, eskwelahan.
Hindi lahat ng nilalabasan, exit.
Hindi lahat ng sinusubo, pagkain.
Hindi lahat ng pinipisil, pisngi.
Hindi lahat ng pisngi, nasa mukha.
Hindi lahat ng binibiyak, prutas.
Hindi lahat ng tumatayo, may paa.
Pero lahat ng may ulo, tumatayo.
Lahat ng BERDE ISIP, ngingiti.

Erap: "Walang kumpare, walang kamag-anak."
PNoy: "Walang kamag-anak, puro kaklase at kabarilan lang."

Di nila ma-justify yong 7 Pajero na binigay sa mga obispo. Dapat kasi ang binigay nila ay SAFARI, madali i-justify. Para SA FARI.

Filipino Store Signs

* A parlor in San Juan: 'Cut & Face'
* A Bakery: 'Bread Pit'
* A tailor shop: 'James Tayloring'
* Another tailoring shop: 'Elizabeth Tayloring'
* A drugstore: 'Pharmacia with love'
* A Petshop: 'Petness First'
* A Taxicab: 'Income Taxi'
* A balut wholesaler in Batangas: 'Starduck'
* A laundry shop in Manila: 'Summa cum Laundry'
* A petshop in Ortigas selling cats and dogs: 'Pussies and Bitches'

* A beerhouse in Cavite, 'Chickpoint'
* A laundromat in Sikatuna: 'Star Wash: Attack of the Clothes'
* A salon somewhere, 'Curl Up And Dye'
* A store selling chicken feeds along Sucat road: 'Robocock'
* A shoe repair shop: 'SHOEPERMAN: we will HEEL you, save your SOLE, and even DYE for you'
* A 2nd hand watch store: '2nd Time Around'
* An aquatic pet store in Malolos: 'Fish Be With You'
* A Laundry: 'Wash Your Problems Here'
* A beauty salon: 'Saudia Hair lines'
* A neighborhood pizza store: 'Pizza Hot'

* A mobile massage slogan: 'Asian Mobile Massage Service: Massage only, God is watching'
* A shrimp store: 'Hipon Coming Back'
* A ceiling installer: 'Kisame Street'
* A car repair shop: 'Bangga ka 'day!'
* A bakery in a village: 'Anak Ng Tinapay'
* Ice cream parlor: 'Dila Lang Ang Katapat'
* Chicharon store: 'Chicha Hut'
* A barbershop in Cagayan de Oro: 'Pinoy Big Barber'
* A party needs business: 'Balloon-Balloonan'
* A goto resto: 'Goto Ko Pa!'

* A flower shop: 'Susan's Roses'
* A pet shop in Kamuning: 'Pakita Mo Pet Mo'
* A Resto in Baclaran: 'The Last Supper'
* A small internet cafe opened among squatters named itself, 'Cafe Pindot'
* A restaurant in Pampanga, 'Mekeni Rogers'
* A restaurant in Pasig, 'Johnny's Fried Chicken: The 'Fried' of Marikina'
* A tombstone maker in Antipolo: 'Lito Lapida'
* A copy center in Sikatuna Village, 'Pakopya ni Edgar'
* A carinderia: 'Aling Karing Deria'
* Name of a kambingan, 'Sa Goat Kita'

* Shoe repair in Marikina : 'Dr. Shoe-Bago'
* A water refilling station in Dapitan, 'Wa-Thirst'
* A squid stall in a wet market: 'Pusit to the Limit'
* A bank in Alabang: 'Alabank'
* A gotohan, 'Goto Haven'
* A sign on a stall selling chicken, "Dina Fresh"
* A 24 hour eatery: "Doris Day and Night"
* A home cooking resto: "Ang Cooking ng Ina Mo"
* A competitor beside it: "Ang Cooking ng Ina Mo Rin"
* A boxing gym in Taguig: 'Blow Jab'

* A fishball cart: 'Eat My Balls'
* A bait and tackle shop in Boracay: 'The Master Baiter'
* A Hair Salon in Makati : 'Hair We Go Again'
* A Japanese resto: 'Murakami'
* A grillhouse: 'It Doesn`t Matter Inihaw'

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Houston Hobby Airport, Texas

Last May 2010, I first set foot in Texas, in Houston, to visit two former officemates when I was still working in Philippine Congress in the 90s. It was the last leg of my US trip then (Chicago-Detroit-Houston), the last 2 cities were tours after my conference in Chicago. I have Filipino friends in those cities who would pick me up from the airport and bring me back there, host in their house and tour in their cities for free, why not grab the opportunity.

Houston from the air is wide and expansive. It has two airports, I landed at Hobby airport.

Houston is the home of NASA's space program then, I think until now. Thus, the airport terminal has exhibits and decorations of rocket ships, space shuttles, astronauts, and related stuff.

Like this one, photo exhibit of the international space station. I don't know if such exhibit is permanent or being changed from time to time.

This looks like the "feet" of those space shuttles landing in the moon or something. Sorry, I didn't ask around what it was.

This airport's arrival and departure areas are mixed on the same floor. I think it's the same for many other airports in the US. So people enter or exit on those gates. Unlike in many big Asian airports, all arrivals are on the ground or lower floor, and all departures are on the 2nd or higher floor.

Departure lounge. Passengers waiting for their flight out of the airport.

Nothing so important here. It just caught my attention, DVD rentals for $1 each, a mobile phone charging station for a fee. Cute.